A story..

I want to tell a story... I am not a particularly talented writer but this is what I want to write..



She pulls herself up over the dusty rocky edge of the crevice. She drags her abdomen over the edge, exhausted and spent from her time traversing the lonely territory of the dark. As she pulls herself free, the only position that seems appropriate is foetal. Curled up, sobbing and afraid of where she will find herself when she dares to look, she lets the torrent of emotions drench her.
"How did those cracks escalate into such a huge dark space?" she wonders as her wrenching sobs subside.. "How did I get down there, why did no one come and rescue me as I wandered alone and lost in the darkness?"


She opens her eyes, it is lighter here, but not light. It certainly isn't the blackness she has just emerged from. One thing she does know is that she is very much alone and not in the same place she set out from. Where are the people she loves/loved?



Wanting to, but not able to stay curled up tightly refusing to face reality, she uncurls slowly and begins the next step of the journey. Finding bearings, discovering where she is and making decisions about where to go next.



Looking back across the great ravine, she sees what she almost certainly knew in her heart already. That he has not made this journey with her. She is indeed all alone. She can see him, but not hear him or him her. She is not entirely sure that he can see her. Why and how did she end up making this journey on her own...?



She realises she has been here before, in this very spot looking back across this ravine. But the previous times it has only been a small crevice, in fact the first time it was only a crack in the earth that she could leap back over with some risk but not with too much effort.

In the past, she remembers, there had also been a bridge, rickety with use of many return journeys, but passable. This time as she scans the edge of the cliff the bridge is impassable, stretched so cruelly by the increasing distance that has been created.. by what?? She sees him run to the spot where the bridge used to reach on that side of the ravine, and can almost see the grief as he realises what has happened. That the distance is so far now and he has not taken the same path as her. The realisation that he has no choice but to also plunge into that dark ravine and travel it alone.



For her the realisation hits slowly, the impact almost physical, causing her already spent self to crumple, there is no way back this time. Not for her.

This time the journey was so dark, so painful, so physically exhausting and lonely that there is no way back. Would she risk returning into that dark ravine, would he meet her down there, would he come and get her? Does she even want him too? She could not sit and wait, not after coming this far, communication would be too difficult from this distance, he could not see her, or hear her.


As she turned away from the deep ravine completely lost, unable to understand how she really got there, she became aware that she was actually in the foot hills of a huge mountain. Rugged and rough terrain, steep but with a worn path trampled by many who had taken this path before her. As the path rose up the side of the mountain it disappeared and there was no way of knowing what was beyond, but something stirred inside her and she knew it was the right path for her to take.

So there was a choice, descend back into the valley, dark and cold and lonely or take this new path, worn and steep but ascending into light and used by others.



Who knew what would be over that crest of the mountain, but it seemed the only way. Looking back she wondered what he would decide to do. Maybe he would choose this path also. Maybe he would catch up, maybe he wouldn't survive the descent into the valley. But she was very aware that this was a decision she had to make on her own.


So she did, she set off up a well travelled path, albeit unknown to her, afraid but hopeful of returning to some semblance of light and life. Who she would meet on this path would not only surprise her but delight her, some people cruel and judging others truly depicting the beauty in the heartache, helping her and teaching her of her value and worth as a person.


She is still travelling the mountain path, she has stumbled, fallen, and resumed the foetal position on many an occasion, she is thankful to those who gently took her hand and helped her to continue the path, they know who they are, and those who passed by leaving her to grieve, they have their very good reasons.


The path has changed and forked and led in a direction she never could have imagined and it has caused her to grow in a way she never could have hoped for. Still, she does not know where the path will lead, but she is attempting to travel it with integrity, joy and hope and allowing herself to put herself a little less last!

Here's to the journey, it's been rocky at times but lets make each day an adventure.



Oh by the way, if anyone actually reads this blog, I am scrap booking again. I am glad to be finding some creativity again.



My very special friend said... Kate it is good to have "you" back. Thanks to those who have been so incredibly "there" for me. I think I am almost back! Not so much changed as more myself than I have been for a very long time.

Kate
xxx