Tuesday, March 9, 2010

first scrap booking in 6 months....

These are all done with the beautiful Sugar Rush Collection, from Basic Grey.

You can find this product at The Scrapbook Outlet.


Sunday, February 21, 2010

A story..

I want to tell a story... I am not a particularly talented writer but this is what I want to write..

She pulls herself up over the dusty rocky edge of the crevice. She drags her abdomen over the edge, exhausted and spent from her time traversing the lonely territory of the dark. As she pulls herself free, the only position that seems appropriate is foetal. Curled up, sobbing and afraid of where she will find herself when she dares to look, she lets the torrent of emotions drench her.
"How did those cracks escalate into such a huge dark space?" she wonders as her wrenching sobs subside.. "How did I get down there, why did no one come and rescue me as I wandered alone and lost in the darkness?"

She opens her eyes, it is lighter here, but not light. It certainly isn't the blackness she has just emerged from. One thing she does know is that she is very much alone and not in the same place she set out from. Where are the people she loves/loved?

Wanting to, but not able to stay curled up tightly refusing to face reality, she uncurls slowly and begins the next step of the journey. Finding bearings, discovering where she is and making decisions about where to go next.

Looking back across the great ravine, she sees what she almost certainly knew in her heart already. That he has not made this journey with her. She is indeed all alone. She can see him, but not hear him or him her. She is not entirely sure that he can see her. Why and how did she end up making this journey on her own...?

She realises she has been here before, in this very spot looking back across this ravine. But the previous times it has only been a small crevice, in fact the first time it was only a crack in the earth that she could leap back over with some risk but not with too much effort.

In the past, she remembers, there had also been a bridge, rickety with use of many return journeys, but passable. This time as she scans the edge of the cliff the bridge is impassable, stretched so cruelly by the increasing distance that has been created.. by what?? She sees him run to the spot where the bridge used to reach on that side of the ravine, and can almost see the grief as he realises what has happened. That the distance is so far now and he has not taken the same path as her. The realisation that he has no choice but to also plunge into that dark ravine and travel it alone.

For her the realisation hits slowly, the impact almost physical, causing her already spent self to crumple, there is no way back this time. Not for her.

This time the journey was so dark, so painful, so physically exhausting and lonely that there is no way back. Would she risk returning into that dark ravine, would he meet her down there, would he come and get her? Does she even want him too? She could not sit and wait, not after coming this far, communication would be too difficult from this distance, he could not see her, or hear her.

As she turned away from the deep ravine completely lost, unable to understand how she really got there, she became aware that she was actually in the foot hills of a huge mountain. Rugged and rough terrain, steep but with a worn path trampled by many who had taken this path before her. As the path rose up the side of the mountain it disappeared and there was no way of knowing what was beyond, but something stirred inside her and she knew it was the right path for her to take.
So there was a choice, descend back into the valley, dark and cold and lonely or take this new path, worn and steep but ascending into light and used by others.

Who knew what would be over that crest of the mountain, but it seemed the only way. Looking back she wondered what he would decide to do. Maybe he would choose this path also. Maybe he would catch up, maybe he wouldn't survive the descent into the valley. But she was very aware that this was a decision she had to make on her own.

So she did, she set off up a well travelled path, albeit unknown to her, afraid but hopeful of returning to some semblance of light and life. Who she would meet on this path would not only surprise her but delight her, some people cruel and judging others truly depicting the beauty in the heartache, helping her and teaching her of her value and worth as a person.

She is still travelling the mountain path, she has stumbled, fallen, and resumed the foetal position on many an occasion, she is thankful to those who gently took her hand and helped her to continue the path, they know who they are, and those who passed by leaving her to grieve, they have their very good reasons.

The path has changed and forked and led in a direction she never could have imagined and it has caused her to grow in a way she never could have hoped for. Still, she does not know where the path will lead, but she is attempting to travel it with integrity, joy and hope and allowing herself to put herself a little less last!

Here's to the journey, it's been rocky at times but lets make each day an adventure.

Oh by the way, if anyone actually reads this blog, I am scrap booking again. I am glad to be finding some creativity again.

My very special friend said... Kate it is good to have "you" back. Thanks to those who have been so incredibly "there" for me. I think I am almost back! Not so much changed as more myself than I have been for a very long time.


Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Building Bridges

I have been on annual leave for most of October. I have spent some of that time seeing people I haven't seen in a while and catching up with family, old friends and new.

It has been a time of repairing and building bridges, re connecting with friends. I think I have done enough now, it is time to stop feeling like I have to explain, to stop feeling like it is my responsibility to help people understand, it is time to stop worrying about what others think of me. It is time for me to heal and move on. I am ready.
It is time to create a new life and to spend time re newing old friendships and creating new ones without fear of disapproval.

Christmas is coming and I am wholly unprepared. I love Christmas though I'm not sure what Christmas will look like for our family this year. However I still want to enjoy the build up.

Part of that is the SBO xmas competition on at the moment. Guest designers are setting the challenges and it is proving to be a great way to get into the Xmas spirit. Go check it out here

I have done a couple of lay outs with the beautiful Prima Specialty Papers. Gorgeous.

Again I quote Dr Seuss cos he rocks!!!

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”


Saturday, October 17, 2009

Happy Birthday Baby Girl...

My youngest turns 7 tomorrow.

For some reason this seems significant. No longer a baby.

Today we had a little party for her.

Gorgeous Hawkes Bay day and friends to play.

Happy Birthday my Darling!!!

Also I did this lay out for SBO using the Bo Bunny range of papers.

Photo taken at the beautiful Ohope beach!!



Thursday, October 1, 2009


Sometimes life does not go the way we imagined or dreamed. This happens for a myriad of reasons not always clear to us and certainly not to those on the outside looking in. It has happened to me, and to my family. We are in recovery mode. All at different stages. We have been in this mode before, sadly, for a wholly different reason, so we know the drill. Time and baby steps.

I have been absent, in many ways over the past few months but also over the past few years.

Lost for many years. Life however is not about finding oneself but about creating oneself and it is time to accept what has been created and know within myself that I am OK. And that I can be better!! It is never too late to re create!!

I am on my way back. Living is not easy right now but there are lots of little joys and happiness along this difficult journey. People and other little mercies have popped up around me and given me hope and the strength to move on in my own time.

SO what has happened that is good?

Lili sat her first ballet exam. So cute.

Brylee sat her first major RAD ballet exam. I am very proud.

My dear friend organised a dance class for just her and me. It was magical and fun and one of the best things I have done in many years. I think the body has a memory, I cannot fully express the joy I feel when I dance. I know it's not so pretty to look at anymore but wow it was incredible. The best birthday present ever!!

My beautiful eldest daughter went to her high school ball...

I have started scrap booking again. My creativity is still to get into full swing but I am putting glue to paper again and it is good. Significant I think!

Here are some lay outs I have done for SBO.

Two using the Cosmo Cricket Earth Love papers , found here, and the other a sample for the competition over at SBO right now.

Cosmo Cricket Earth love,

Sample for SBO competition, using Collage Press, Sweet Shop

another using Cosmo Cricket, Earth Love.

Through all of this I have had support from sources I never thought likely, new friendships have been forged and possibilities have opened up. I would like to say thanks to those who have been my strength and support, it has been invaluable and truly appreciated.
Most of whom probably don't read this blog but it is important to acknowledge these amazing friends.

Ok well that is me,

Dr Suess is probably the best person to quote right now....

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”

On that note I shall say Au revoir cos I'm feeling a little parisienne right now. If there is such a thing!! :)

Monday, July 27, 2009

July at SBO.

Hey, she lives...

Here are a couple of projects I have created using the Collage Press Sweet Shop papers from SBO.
You can see them here

They are beautiful and great quality papers... so great to work with.

I tried my hand at altering this little box... yet to put any thing in it but was fun to give it a try.

And a layout, using the sketch provided by Ruth.

My challenge was to scrap yourself, and I used the beautiful Prima papers. Sadly when I up load it it appears sideways and that is not a good look. So go to SBO to see it if you are interested at all. It's in my gallery.
Sadly our months worth of band width was used up by 10th of July, so the computer is going snail pace making links nigh near impossible. Maybe next time. Ahh teens, you gotta love 'em.
I've also been doing a bit of knitting.. cool I know. I have finished a pair of socks and onto another... photos to follow when I can stand waiting for the computer to up load.
So get those layouts in for the challenges... and I think there may be a challenge coming up soon with a great prize. Keep a look out for that.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Happy birthday Brittany...

Happy birthday to our first born..

They didn't have you where I come from
Never knew the best was yet to come
Life began when I saw your face
And I hear your laugh like a serenade

How long do you want to be loved

Is forever enough, is forever enough
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough
Cause I'm never, never giving you up

I slip in bed when you're asleep
To hold you close and feel your breath on me
Tomorrow there'll be so much to do
So tonight I'll drift in a dream with you

How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough, is forever enough
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough
Cause I'm never, never giving you up

As you wander through this troubled world
In search of all things beautiful
You can close your eyes when you're miles away
And hear my voice like a serenade

How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough, is forever enough
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough
Cause I'm never, never giving you up

Dixie Chicks.

Love you, so proud of you. Happy 17th. x x x